You need to say "I wish..." and someone must respond "Your wish is granted but..." before saying their wish.
Exemple:
- I wish I had good grammar
- Granted, but everyone else's grammar sucks

- I wish I could spell
- Grentedz but evri1 els cant

That can actually be pretty fun.

I wish I was better at spriting

Granted, but no one cares about sprites anymore.

I wish I lived on Mars.

Granted, but Earth finally masters space travel and comes to enslave Mars and behead their leader and since you're the only person there it's by default you.

I wish I could turn invisible.

Granted, but everyone knows where you are

I wish Trump was a good president.

Granted, but the US turns into a monarchy

I wish I had a good laptop.

Granted, but no voltage can power the laptop.

I wish to retract this post.

Granted, but it will haunt you back.

I wish I can do super math.

Granted, but you lose your senses permanently.

I wish I could time travel.

Granted, but the future you came back and killed you.

I wish to understand humans.

Granted, but you will not be human anymore.

I wish I have lotta stamina, lots of em.

Granted, but you turn into a red anthro eckidna wearing shoes and hoard a giant magical lime diamond which a evil scientist tricks you to steal it without you looking.

I wish i got endless amounts of Cold, Hard Cash.

Granted, but you will go bankrupt the passing year and will never be happy.

I wish people would like me.